Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
