I think i peed on brittanys purse
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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