the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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