Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
