didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it glows. i had to have it.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
