love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
