Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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