I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
