Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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