We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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