Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
