also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
