kristin has been a bad kristin
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize