why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
