thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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