Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
