but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
