just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
love makes seman taste better
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
