They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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