i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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