so that wasnt chicken after all
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
