its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
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I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
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I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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