I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
