Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
