matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
