"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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