We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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