Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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