It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
