dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
