You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
