I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
