I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
