You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize