Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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