Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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