He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
