hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
