I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
