I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
