This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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