There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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