Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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