She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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