ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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