we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
