My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
