i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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