on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
