she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
