Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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