Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
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Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
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I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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