So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
