So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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