she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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