youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
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We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
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Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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