do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
