I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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