would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
