so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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