I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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