you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
