Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize