Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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