Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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